Duck Duck Cougar?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
