I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
