This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
