She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Randomize
