whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
