you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
