i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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