I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
