I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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