**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
