hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
