You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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