problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
