hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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