I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
