Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
