She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
