You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
