Do vagina's smell?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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