I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
