If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
