I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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