I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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