I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
