last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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