There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
