i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
