how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
