Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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