Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
