dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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