Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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