I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
