please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
