Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Well I just put wine in my tea
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
