i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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