he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
