My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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