omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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