She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
