I am in a vortex of obligation.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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