And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
