4 words: hood of his car
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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