hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
