cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
