I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
