Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
