you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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