I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
