yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
